Uncategorized

Home, the Place Where I Belong…

My tribe and I are elated to be spending some time in our old stomping grounds, Colorado Springs. Mark had to travel out here for work, so we made him drag us along! There is so much good to be found in the bright sunny skies and horizon full of majestic, towering peaks. This is our place.

We have seen so many friends this visit. So many. There are still more we couldn’t even squeeze into our days, but we have dearly enjoyed each heart we’ve been able to reconnect with during our time out here. Old friends are the bestest friends.

My little people have enjoyed days full of swimming, playing with friends, visiting their favorite spots, and then snuggling in for crafts, movies, and massage trains. It has been a wonderful break for our hearts and minds, and we have found joy in our minutes.

Our visit is too short to fit in all the goodness we left behind here, but our love tanks are full as we wrap up a wonderful week packed with sweet memories. Thankful for the Giver of such gifts.

Please leave me a comment, it lets me know you’re listening!

Uncategorized

Memories in the Making

We’ve had some difficult conversations as a family about what our future may look like. Mostly to be forthcoming with the kids, because even though we never can truly know the days ahead, it’s fair for them to be prepared based on what we do know. These conversations have opened up a lot of dialogue about the here and now. I know we all wish to be kind and loving and live our best lives every day, but sadly it often seems to become most poignant once you have a scary unknown on the horizon. I wish we could all start sooner, but I know firsthand how easily we get caught up in ourselves.

As a family, we continue to talk about the importance of letting the little things go, and making memories that are rich in kindness and large in love. We talk about making choices that will leave us with important experiences rather than things. We talk about what will be left behind when each of us are gone.

This train of thought is what spurred us to get away for some fun and relaxing family time together. We needed to just be us and focus on enjoying each other and spending time together in some of our favorite ways. Our everyday consists of a lot of time with me in bed, or laced with doctors and medicines, so we went for the opposite and ran for the sun and sand of the beach in Boca Raton Florida. It was glorious!

We had two extra daughters along with us, and all the kids were troopers for the two day car ride squished into our Pilot. They passed the hours with pipe cleaner creations, jewelry-making, mad libs, and tons of snacks. Add a little fighting and a lot of giggling, and it was a road trip for the books. We were rewarded with a week of sun-kissed skin, sandy toes, scuba diving, snorkeling, go kart races, bumper boats, and late night swims. It did my heart so good to see the kids able to just be kids; playing and laughing and enjoying all the things a young one should be enjoying.

It was a little bit intimidating at first to think about leaving my comfort zone of home. I had to push back fears of getting stuck in a hospital far from home. We don’t always travel, but when we do we make sure to check out at least one local hospital… this time for a terrible allergic reaction I had to some antibiotics on our drive to Florida. I received the best possible care though, and it hardly put a wrinkle in our trip. The rest of the week I felt rested and relaxed and enjoyed days of less pain and more energy after drenching myself in the salty waters. My family was helpful and patient with my pace, and never complained when the time came for a recovery nap.

We returned home with tan lines and a sandy car and hearts full with memories of a wonderful week just being us. No worries. No doctors. No scary talks. Just fun and sun and ice cream and enjoying each other’s company. It was worth it. Every bit.

Please leave me a comment, it lets me know you’re listening!

Uncategorized

Waves of Today

Lying in bed with big medicine, praying the deep throbbing would settle down, but still reveling in the amazing of today. It was such a good day. I was met by the prayers of my people, and it was wonderful to feel wonderful for awhile. We basked in the sun and rolled in the sand and splashed for endless hours in the big salty ocean. My body felt at peace and so relieved in the cool, clear waves. Visions of sand castles and beautiful shells and tiny fish and a giant stingray dance when I close my eyes, and I’m so grateful for the lasting grace of this day.

Please leave me a comment, it lets me know you’re listening!

Uncategorized

Growing Hope

As I struggle with losing my ability to do so many of my favorite pastimes, there are a few I’m holding tight to. Gardening is one of them. A sweet friend offered to get the seedlings I had been nursing into the ground for me, but I held tight to believing I could do it myself. I so much wanted to feel the warm earth as I babied my sprouts and seeds into the ground. I do not by any means have a green thumb, but have managed for a stretch of years to grow a number of vegetables for my family right in our backyard. I’m missing the Colorado sunshine, but trying to figure out what works here.

I don’t know what it is, but watching things grow has always felt so sacred to me. It truly is a miracle to see tiny dried out seeds change and grow into something beautiful. It brings me such joy. The warm soil, gentle sun, and fresh colors of green make me feel as if I’m in a breathtaking cathedral.

Too weak to stand, I carved out my own small slice of land and sat in the dirt, covered in afternoon sun, and gently pressed seeds and seedlings into the earth. Watching them sprout and grow bigger is bringing me so much delight and satisfaction. Here’s hoping for a harvest, but either way, the working of the soil has been therapeutic for me in beautiful ways.

What is it that you do that refreshes and cheers your soul?

Please leave me a comment, it lets me know you’re listening!

daily graces

Being Present

I am hurting in too many places to name; exhausted beyond staying awake for a few hours, and sapped of all my energy. What a gift to be so. I spent it all this weekend, and it was worth it.

I play a constant juggling game of shifting what things I can do, and how long I will need to recover. Any activity at all takes a pretty great amount of effort. This past weekend I did less calculating and more doing. Missing the days of doing projects around my house, I worked hard to make my front porch a welcome landing pad. Tending to plants, arranging welcomes, and repainting a forlorn mailbox left me tired, hurting, and so fulfilled. It was an accomplishment for myself, and it was a gesture of love I could provide my people.

At the end of the day, covered in soil and spray paint, I pushed myself even further to clean up and go out with my loves for dinner. I didn’t think I could do it, but the delicious food and sweet company spurred me through a wonderful evening. The following night, I pushed hard again to spend time with kind friends who invited us over. It would have been easier to retreat to the cool quiet of my bedroom refuge, but I fought to stay up and enjoy the company of loving friends. It was a beautiful evening together.

By Sunday my body was done being pushed, and I had to give in to the haven of my bed for some extra sleep, fluids, and help with my breathing. My bones and muscles complained at all I had done, but my heart was light. I’m so thankful for the opportunities to fight for more, and the strength Jesus has given me to keep taking them. Remind me when I need a push! These times are surely a gift I don’t ever want to take for granted.

Please leave me a comment, it lets me know you’re listening!

Uncategorized

Hard Fight

I am here.

Head down, fighting hard over a perilous week, but still crawling to stand to chant the victory cheer.

It’s going to take some time for me to recover, but I will get there. In my quiet spaces, know I am deeply grateful for every kind word, thoughtful gift, and whispered prayer. You are my people.

Please leave me a comment, it lets me know you’re listening!