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Time

6 months ago my hospice doctor signed a paper that said if my disease continued at the current progression my life expectancy was 6 months or less. Welp, surprise! Here I am! Seriously though… I know that no man can put a number on my days and only God knows when that time will be. And it will be the perfect number of days, because He planned it that way.

Does it weigh heavily sometimes having that kind of thing spoken over you? Yes absolutely, but I have to choose to continually give my fears and anxieties over to my Heavenly Father, because I’m not meant to carry that kind of weight.

With the help of some insanely wonderful friends and even people I have not gotten to meet yet I have been able to try some more natural treatments for my body, and while I do not know for sure how they will work I know they are a gift from God and they do my body good. I know that I’m still here.

I am so thankful for more time. There are days when things seem scary and overwhelming, but we keep taking each next day and making it the best it can be, because it is truly a gift. The gift of time. The gift of more snuggles with my littles. The gift of more smiles, more memories, more treasured conversations with my people. It is not lost on me what an incredible blessing this is.

I remain in hospice care at home, and my team members are the most compassionate people you have ever met. I’m so blessed.

Some of my favorite people have moved mountains to span miles and spend time with me and check in on me and love me in all the ways. My home is a revolving door of my local tribe encouraging me, entertaining me, bringing me sweet love. After a long and hard period of extreme isolation and many prayers for community we have been surrounded in the most amazing ways.

Sometimes I look into my eyes and I see that it’s changing me and I get afraid. I wonder what’s going on in there and what my future days will look like. Then I remember I have not been given a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love and of power and a sound mind. That’s all I need.

10 thoughts on “Time”

  1. Oh, Hannah, your mental strength is a Gift for all of us from God !! Your words, your story inspire so many !! You turn your crumbiest day into a gift and are truly amazing for this. Along with my “normal” prayers for you, I’m going to add that God puts “new to you” and “experimental” treatments for you to explore.

    Lord,
    Look upon Hannah with eyes of mercy. May you healing hand rest upon her, may your life-giving powers flow into every cell of her body and into the depth of her soul; cleaning, purifying, restoring her to wholeness and strength for service in your Kingdom. Amen.

    Love & Hugs, Mary Beth, Scott, Lissa, Brandon, Draven, Ava, Mike, Kayla, Sophie, Libby, Matt, Steve, Briana & Steffi

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  2. MUST READ

    I was diagnosed of ALS/MND disease in 2016. Despite how long ALS/MND has existed and how many fine human beings are lost due to ALS/MND, it is embarrassing to know that our doctors still tells us there is still no effective treatment. My life was gradually coming to an end, until I saw Worldherbsclinic on google during my research for alternative help for ALS/MND.. I knew health is wealth thus I decided to give it a try, thank God I did. I got the ALS/MND HERBS FORMULA four working days after placing an order. OMG I started noticing change all over my body after one month of taking the herbs formula, My ALS/MND was completely reversed after 3 months of usage. Now i’m happy and free from this deadly disease.

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