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Being Here

Hello my faithful friends and loving strangers. Since wrapping up my blog, I have been receiving numerous requests for me to keep sharing my writing. I heard stories of how it has changed people who I didn’t even know were reading it, and how it has encouraged people who have needed that, and brought hope to others who have been feeling alone and hopeless. I felt God urging to me to continue sharing my story; so that many will know His grace and His hope. If God is willing to use someone like me to point others to Him, then here I am, committed to showing others the grace and hope I’ve found along some hard, long battles.

I was admitted to home hospice a couple weeks ago. They had to certify that I had a life expectancy of 6 months or less. There it finally was. A number. You can imagine the amount of emotion that was felt. I will leave it at that.

Please try to ignore any spelling errors or mistakes you find in my writing. My disease has progressed to give me severe double vision. I have to close one eye to be able to see things like words very clearly. It must look comical to people seeing me typing (and a lot of backspacing) with one eye closed or covered. Otherwise I use voice-to-text, and I think we all know how that can turn out. So please be patient with me, try to get a giggle out of imagining how I am writing this, and try to pull out the meaning of what I’m really trying to say.

Despite Covid, we have managed to squeeze in some really fun things as a family. We drove to a nearby beach and had a wonderful time just playing in the ocean and sand, and since our room was right next to the beach, it was easy for me to take a break and just go up to the room and lie down. I could open the door to the deck and hear the constant soothing sound of the ocean. Mark is working on his doctorate, so that was pretty much the most relaxing way to do it. We were quite content just eating at home and staying in the pool and at the beach. It was just what all of us needed.

Shortly after we got back, my home hospice nurse came out for a visit, and she needed to send me to inpatient hospice because she was not able to get my pain under control. I have been there ever since, and while they’ve been a great help with some things, there is decline in others. It’s been a scary and hopeful experience, and I’m greatly ready to be at home in my own bed with my own loves snuggling me close.

We have been SO loved on. Our people from our small group have stepped in and cooked for us and cleaned for us, and visited me for hours of talks and laughs and all the most perfect treats they know that I love. My little sister even drove out from Kansas to pick up my kids and take them to her house for a week. While she already had 7 others. Who does that!!!We are so grateful to have people like all of these, loving us big. God is so kind to me.

Thank you for your thoughts and your prayers as we shift to this new season. We need your prayers and your visits and your reminders that God is faithful and good to us, and is holding us strong through each moment.

Thank you for listening. It brings strength to my soul.

33 thoughts on “Being Here”

  1. Hannah, I want you to know that your family had been, is and will continue to be in my prayers. You are a strong woman, momma and wife and your kids will forever cherish your time here with them and your blogs/notes you leave all of them

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  2. Reading your blog … thank you for your words and letting God use you – even in the most difficult season. Prayers for you and your family!!

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  3. I love that people are surrounding you with love. Miss you Hannah. 💗💗 I’m going for P school in January. Thanks for being one of those tough and amazing women I look up to.

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  4. I’ll never stop praying or fighting or trying to “figure it out” with you. I’ve recently been presenting your case before the “courts” in Heaven. If you see any miraculous changes, let me know friend. I’m presenting you daily there. Will fight with you to the end. Love you!

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  5. Praying and raising you up. Lifting up your family here in Wichita too! Thank you for using your prescious strength to share your authentic journey and your tested faith. I know it is growing other.

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  6. Thank you for sharing. You are a strong, brave, and Faithful woman! You have a beautiful gift. Your words are uplifting, kind and generous and full of Grace. THANK YOU for showing me gratitude at its finest. I pray for you and your family. I pray for comfort, healing, love and opportunities to make many more loving memories. Sending love, hugs and smiles your way. Be blessed.

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  7. Thank you for sharing your story and know that I’m praying for you and your family. You are all beautiful souls and I hope you find strength and comfort from all of your family and friends, even those of us you don’t know personally.

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  8. From a prior Academy AMT and classmate of Mark, prayers to you and yours from DC. I appreciate your encouragement and the grace in which you carry your cross. May Jesus fill any questions you may have and thanks for your continued inspiration.

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  9. Praying for you and your family today from Illinois. Trusting in His sovereignty with you. Thanks for continuing to share your heart. I’ll never forget your visit with treats while Aspen was in the NICU and am so grateful the Church is loving you and your family well. ❤️

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  10. Thank you for sharing your story and as hard as it must have been…it’s amazing what you have been giving to others through your kind words. Sending prays and hugs to you and your family.

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  11. Hannah, Mark and all the Mitchells, it is so hard to read this and to get a glimpse of what you are going through. It must be agonizing. I am grateful for so many things that you are able to still enjoy and appreciate….the love of family and friends, and the faith that God will get you through what he has called you to. You have no idea what a witness you are to so many, those of us who know and love you and those who don’t know you at all but have been touched by your blogs. We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know who holds the future, don’t we? May the God of all comfort enfold you right now……I love you, Aunt Nancy

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