Twists

Yesterday started out with a heartbreaking phone call, and ended with me back in the operating room having one of the procedures from Friday needing to be redone. For a Monday, it was a doozy. I kept finding myself wanting a break long enough to have a hard cry, but the day was just non-stop happening, and there was no time for that. For a hot minute I was angry. I was complaining, and I didn’t think it was fair. Maybe it wasn’t, but grace still showed up. It showed up in my mother-in-law being able to handle the details of the hard morning news for me so I could get to the doctor, and my angel of a neighbor not only driving me back and forth to the hospital, but also showing up to make sure my little people were doing ok, and receiving a homemade meal for them, cooked by someone I’ve never met. Even when I painfully eased into bed last night, my pillow didn’t need to catch a single tear, because while my husband is away on work this week every little body in the house has taken up residence in my bedroom to be close to me. It’s just the cutest thing. I don’t deserve such gifts, yet they flow so freely.

Today I’m a little shell-shocked. My heart is sad. My everything is hurting. My mind and body are exhausted. But there is an unusual amount of sun today, tiny sprouts pushing up in my windowsill, and my kindhearted nurse will come by to care for me and make me laugh as he always does. I hope that on every hard day I continue to be reminded to look for the gifts, and I hope that as my children grow they will learn to do the same, because it sure makes the worst of Mondays more bearable.

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