If you watched my video this week about getting new glasses, you undoubtedly noticed its lighthearted tone . I try to add an underscore of humor to all of my videos there, since the goal is education and awareness about MSA, not to garner pity or sad feelings from people. In reality, this latest change for me has been a little more heavy than humorous.
It started when I noticed my vision had pretty rapidly gotten very blurry. I wondered if it was a side effect of one of my medications, or if the slight glasses prescription I already have needed to be updated. When I went in for an eye exam, I learned it was neither. The reason for the profound vision loss I was experiencing was because my disease has weakened the muscles controlling my eyes so much that the blurriness I have been noticing is actually me seeing double.
The doctor that saw me that day was so compassionate and kind-hearted; I could tell he truly cared about my situation and wanted the best outcome possible for me. I sat staring through the giant robot-thingie while he dialed in lens after lens, trying to make it strong enough to correct my vision. It got better— the two birthday candles that started a few hand widths apart from each other moved in closer and closer, but even at top strength the candles never merged into one.
So I left the office with a new pair of thick bifocal glasses, feeling very much like the rug had been yanked out from under me by this new development that had not even been on my radar. And truth be told, even with my new specs there is a lot that has been lost as far as what I can see in detail, which in turn affects what I can do.
It was a disheartening blow at first, that left me wondering what I had to offer now. My Etsy business would be affected, my art, my writing… what was left for me to give to the people I love and care about?
Choosing Hope 
You. They want you. Your heart. Your compassion. Your courage. Your faith in them. Your love.
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