Category: family

faith, family, New Year's, suffering

Hoping for More

Hannah

A year of dreams and magic and smooth sailing, less struggle and more blessings; that’s what we’re all hoping for, right?  I imagine we all felt the same at the beginning of this year too; high hopes for 12 months without conflict or illness, but then not too far in, we started facing disappointments and hurts, and before we knew it we were scraping by the months, just trying to survive, determined to make it to the fresh start of a new year. Suddenly we are at the end of a string of long, hard places, clinging desperately to the fray and looking up for a stronger, longer rope, just to realize that our safe passage isn’t guaranteed.  That those hopes to slip through unscathed are just that, hopes, and the days ahead of us have just as much potential to leave us burned as the barren months behind us did.

 To be honest, I held my breath for it too.  For the clean slate, the fresh start; the promise of a year filled with goals and newness and such determination for good, that surely this would be the year to whisper about, the one that brought great good.  Well I shudder to admit, but as we rounded the corner of the end of December, 2016 kicked us in the gut before we even crossed the threshold.  Or maybe it was 2015 getting one last punch in. Either way, we already know this year isn’t starting with the expectations we placed on it.  In fact, I flat out didn’t even want to celebrate it; dreaded this night and the tears and the pain and the reality that once again we stand in a place where we have no control over our lives.

But you know what… hanging onto to our own ability to control our lives is what sets us up for heartbreak.  I have held too long. Even when I know I can do nothing to help myself, I have been hell-bent on self preservation.  That’s not what our Father asks of us.  He asks simply, gently for us to open our hands… to surrender our lack of faith and trust that even when the weight of the world threatens to crush us, He will never let go.

There are no guarantees for this year to come; our dreams may crumble, our relationships disappoint, our health fail, our people leave us, but we don’t have to be sure of the future to be sure of our security through it.  So lean with me, press into whatever is coming, walk into this new year with a brave heart and a determined faith, because we don’t need to know what’s ahead, only Who is behind us.

I knew tonight I would be standing at the edge of this new valley, looking out over the unknown, watching from the outside as everyone else was sharing the joyful moments of ringing in their new year, while I stand holding broken pieces.  I know I have a choice to let fear and sadness overwhelm, or to trust that I can free-fall into the unknown with the confidence that I will never hit the bottom.  Never.

I can be thankful for all that has happened, because in the end, that’s what my faith is made from.  I know that whatever is hard in 2016, He will work for good.

So happy New Year, my friends.  Let Him make your broken so, so beautiful.

PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT, IT LETS ME KNOW YOU’RE LISTENING!!!
faith, family, love, marriage, sisters

Once in a Lifetime

Hannah

When I was young, I prayed for a little sister.  Brother, after brother, after brother I prayed.  I would open my window to breathe the thick freshness, and spill the desire of my heart.  I scrawled prayers out on paper and buried them deep in the earth.

June 27, 1992, I got that sister I had prayed for.  We were instant friends, she my sidekick, and I her protector.   We shared faith and opinions, secrets and dreams.  The years separated us through our parents’ divorce, but as we faded into adulthood our friendship rekindled.

 Through many joys we have traveled, as well as great trial.  She has been my trusted friend, my faithful confidant, my unending anchor.

 Tomorrow I get to walk one of the greatest joys with my sister.  I get to stand beside her as she becomes one with the man of her heart.  I will be there as the rest of her life begins.  In some ways I know this is a landmark; a day which will change the shape of our friendship, as she clings to her one,  and will share secrets that even her sisters won’t know.

The “smolder”

I’m proud of the woman my littlest playmate has become, honored to be part of her life.  Her faith runs deep, her kindness eternal. With tears in my eyes and thankfulness in my heart, I will stand  by as she moves from girl to wife.


 Please leave me a comment; it lets me know you’re listening!
family, homeschooling

Changing Course

Hannah


Life was pretty predictable. Mark worked. I worked. The kids were in school and daycare. We saw each other for a few minutes in passing. Suddenly one day, this was not okay. I had very little left to give my family and felt like my babies were growing up and I was missing it. So came the rearranging. I quit the jobs that were sucking the life out of me, and adjusted my schedule to not only be home more with the kids, but also to embark on the adventure of homeschooling. It seemed Jacob was getting overwhelmed by all the activity of being in school, and needed help to refocus on moving forward in his studies. The only answer that seemed to make sense was to work with him ourselves. It has been a learning experience for ALL of us! I am learning patience daily… and finding creative ways to keep things interesting and engaging for everyone. We are settling into these new routines, and although some days find me cranky from trying to teach phonics and math after having been awake all night at work, it is evident the time we are having together is reaping rich blessings for the whole family.

adoption, faith, family, pregnancy

Starting Fresh

Hannah

So after years of finding “newsletters” a bit pretentious and overbearing, here I am essentially doing the same thing in the form of a blog. Well they say change is good, right? My goal is to filter and “pen” an account of the days and moments that are changing and molding me as I seem to have entered a new and dynamic period in my life… a peek inside the workings of a few servants that God has so clearly made plans for and laid hands on. The main characters include my loving and devoted husband of 9 years, my son and two young daughters, the little miracle on the way, and the adopted one that God has so clearly nudged us to welcome into our lives. Please walk alongside us, laugh and cry with us, pray with us, and see in us the miracles our Heavenly Father has and will perform.