“Why do we even believe in God if He doesn’t help us?” The words sliced through the sweltering afternoon air with razor intensity as hot tears dropped dark shapes onto my 11 year old’s gray T-shirt. He had just finished lying a sharpie-labeled headstone over the dented ground in a shade-protected corner of our yard where he had buried a tiny baby bunny for the second time that day.
“God could have saved that bunny. I prayed so hard for that. If He can do whatever He wants to, why didn’t He save him? Why doesn’t He make you well? Why does He let bad things happen to the best people?”
I sucked in a breath as my chest squeezed with the painful questions that seemed to bounce back off the canopy of leaves above us, unanswered. I was watching my boy reckon with one of the deepest struggles we all wrestle with at times; the ones that can strengthen your faith immeasurably, or send it crumbling into nothingness with the verdict that God can’t be trusted.
As strange as it might sound, these are some of the most sacred moments in parenting. Moments so heart-wrenching, yet so utterly priceless you can almost feel God’s hands on your shoulders as you tenderly walk your children through despair and into hope, reminding them the thing you need so desperately to remember yourself; this life is just a blink, and tomorrow has been promised to none of us. This day is a gift, and if it is full of suffering, it is because God loves us too much to let us waste our lives on earth’s pitiful indulgences. He wants to give us astonishing abundance that lasts forever—and suffering is often the means by which He gives it.
I don’t know if I would have become a parent if someone had told me that I would have to watch my children suffer immeasurable pain that I could do nothing about. I don’t like that; I’m a fixer. But even today I am still learning that the only way through is a repeated opening of my hands and surrendering my children to the Only One who can make good of their pain. He promises not to waste it, so I trust that somehow each of these hurts will be used for good.
Choosing Hope 