Worth It

As my baby sis and I chatted back and forth today on what would have been my nephew Angel’s 11th earthly birthday, my sister said something so incredibly true and equivocally profound that I am left pondering over it hours later.

“You know what’s amazing?” she said. “Angel refused to believe he was a burden (and he wasn’t). But by society’s standards, he was. He couldn’t move a single muscle other than his eyes. He was 100% dependent on others for literally everything–life, health, engagement, communication…all of it. Yet he never apologized for taking up space. He had high expectations for how he was to be treated and honored and considered and included and he didn’t tolerate those who saw him as worth less than anyone else. He KNEW his worth. He knew it so deeply. And I can’t say that for myself. I at times feel overwhelmingly guilty just for existing and have since childhood. But not Angel. He. Knew. His. Worth. No matter what. And that is really, really powerful.”

This struck me to my core, because I at times get caught up in how much of a burden I must be, and how I wish I didn’t have to depend so much on other people. But Angel never felt sorry for himself like that. He knew he was a treasure; a child of royalty, and he did not accept being treated as anything less.

While a lot of that came from being just the incredible little boy that he was, there is also loads to be said about the fierce way my sister and brother-in-law fought for Angel’s worth. He knew he was valued because he was constantly treated as valuable, and he was shown that what he brought to the table mattered. He was fought for, given a voice, listened to, applauded, and all of those things only cemented his knowledge that he was worth it.

As Angel’s 11th birthday winds to a close my heart is so tender, but so grateful that for a boy who could have felt less-than, he always knew right where he belonged, and now in Heaven, he has claimed his true worth, his royalty; the crown he fought so hard for and was bestowed by his King. And I can’t imagine a bigger smile than on the boy who always knew- I am worthy.

Happy birthday, sweet Angel. You are loved.