Despite the assuringly positive comments I receive about my ability to tolerate high amounts of pain, I am not feeling it right now. For weeks now we have been chasing my discomfort with all the things that are supposed to help, and I still find myself awake, alone through the dead hours of the lonely nights, rocking and squirming in desperation as I seek even a short reprieve. This disease has large muscle groups locked involuntarily into forcible contractions that refuse to relax and allow me to enjoy the comfort of even a few hours free from pain. I keep telling Mark if pain alone could kill me, I would be dead. Please stand with me, plead with me, knock on the door of Heaven for a reprieve for my sake. I can tough it out through a lot of things, but I am reaching my limit.