White Flag

Despite the assuringly positive comments I receive about my ability to tolerate high amounts of pain, I am not feeling it right now. For weeks now we have been chasing my discomfort with all the things that are supposed to help, and I still find myself awake, alone through the dead hours of the lonely nights, rocking and squirming in desperation as I seek even a short reprieve. This disease has large muscle groups locked involuntarily into forcible contractions that refuse to relax and allow me to enjoy the comfort of even a few hours free from pain. I keep telling Mark if pain alone could kill me, I would be dead. Please stand with me, plead with me, knock on the door of Heaven for a reprieve for my sake. I can tough it out through a lot of things, but I am reaching my limit.

26 thoughts on “White Flag”

  1. So sorry for all that you are going through. Sending prayers to you and your family. Hoping that they will find something to bring you comfort. Hugs.


  2. Hannah I am so very sorry you have to go through all the pain. I will definitely pray that our God will wrap his healing and loving arms around you. God Bless you and your family. πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—


  3. Hannah, I am saying prayers for your comfort, peace, and control of your pain. Praying for wisdom for your doctors and God’s love to surround you and your family. πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ’—


  4. Prayers for you Hannah. I’m sitting by my moms side while she is on hospice and we (her and me) pray frequently throughout the day. I’m adding you to our list. Hang tough. I know God has a purpose and it’s not ever guaranteed that we’ll see it this side of heaven but trust me your writing has touched so many lives. So when you question the why, that alone has been good for so many people. I’m just hoping to encourage you today. Love you!

    Sent from my iPad



    1. Jane, thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I’m praying for you and your mom during this time together. Such a bittersweet time in life, and she is so lucky to have you walking her home. Love you.


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