The Candle We Never Lit

March 2, 2012 marked an important day in our lives.  The listening stones the kids picked for the day gave an accurate picture of how we all felt.

Ellianna would be one year old… but instead of pictures of her smashing her first cake in her hair, another family snapshot of us visiting the cold, hard stone that marks where her beautiful shell is buried.  It was hard to know exactly what to do.  I bounced between wanting to have a celebration, and wanting to just ignore the day and not do anything at all.  In the end though, we wanted to celebrate more than just the anniversary of our daughter’s birth.  We wanted to celebrate all that has happened in our lives because she was here.  The sweet memories we have of her, the growth in our marriage that the trials have cultivated, the way that our children have learned to feel and express and love because they have seen the value of living fully.  So we celebrated. 

We didn’t get to birthday shop for Ellie, so we picked things we would have liked to have given her, and took them to her NICU.  The nurses chose for us a little baby girl whose family is experiencing the challenges of having a preemie.  We got to pay forward some of the love and support we have received since Ellianna graced our lives. 

We got to open our home to our worship group who surrounded us with love and caring.  They had encouraging words to share, gifts of sweet significance, and prayers that uplifted and strengthened our hearts.  We sent the most amazing cloud of glowing balloons off into the night sky…each scrawled with thoughtful words of grateful memories. 

We made it through another hard day, and came out the other side with a renewed sense of the blessings that are daily showered on our lives. 

Please leave me a comment; it lets me know you’re listening!

5 thoughts on “The Candle We Never Lit”

  1. I love how you see this as an opportunity to bless another family. What an incredible legacy you are passing on to your children through these difficult days. Thought of you lots yesterday. To God be the Glory!


  2. I'm so proud you Hannah, not for being strong, but for allowing yourself to grieve and for the thoughtful things you do to celebrate life. I love you more than you'll ever know.


  3. I fell in love with your daughter, through your beautiful sister, Catherine. She would text me pictures of your precious little Ellie. Here in California, we were all sending prayers your way……and prayers for Elliana. I loved seeing the pictures when Catherine was able to meet Ellie for the first time……I've loved hearing stories about Ellie's sweet siblings……and their incredible love for their little sister……I've had tender glimpses of your sweet family…….your strength, your tenderness, your love for Jesus…….Thank you for allowing others to share in your journey……Thank you for sharing the beautiful way you celebrated your daughter's birthday…….I will continue to pray for you and your husband….your children…..and your entire family…….May God continue to hold you close in His loving arms ~and minister to your hearts, in the way that only He can do. ~Heather


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