I have this blank canvas to scribble my thoughts, but lately I have let them recycle, tumbling unsorted in the confines of my mind, timid of what people will think if I speak out loud. Someone told me not long ago that I should try writing about something else. I took it to mean people do not want to hear the confessions and wonderings of my soul; they are probably rolling their eyes and turning off their screens.
After talking with a close friend about what else to write about, I came to the conclusion that I don’t want to write about something “else,” and I don’t know how to. The reason I write about what I do is that it flows quite easily when I need to release and process difficult things. It’s therapeutic for me to free up some space in my thoughts by unleashing the tangle of words and emotion that sometimes becomes difficult to find space for. Part of me also supposed, in the beginning of this place, that someone else would find hope and strength in the raw processing of the journey of my life.
I have been learning more lately that it is okay to let every experience, good or bad, shape who I am and how I view things. Let’s be real; life is never going to be all rainbows and bubblegum, so if we are going to become something other than tainted and bitter, we are going to have to figure out how to filter through our ups and downs and pick out the important growth-inducing bits, and let the rest hit the shredder. That’s what I’m trying to do here; sift through the daily barrage of twists and turns and cling to the slivers of truth that will deepen my character and make me a softer, wiser human for the other people on this expedition with me.
Think back to the last hard, life-changing thing you went through. It might have been the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, a difficult diagnosis, a traumatic world-event… you know how you had that numb feeling for awhile afterwards? Thankfully we all have this mechanism that only lets us take in what we are capable of at the time. Our simple minds and hearts would simply explode if the full force of things hit us all at once. So we take it in little by little, in easily digestible chunks that we can begin to process and break down. That movement happens in the telling of the story. Each time you share your story, your mind is able to handle a little bit more and apply a greater understanding than it could the last time, until eventually you can boldly tell your story, maybe still with some tears, but with a confident and understanding boldness that has replaced the initial shock and bewilderment. That is my place here. I will keep on sharing the plot twists of my life as I continue to find deeper meaning and healing in the new details I understand every time I brave it. And if in doing that some of you are able to pull out the important truths, the pieces that make you bold and brave and inspired, then even the more reason to keep shouting it loud. My story. My unbelievable, true, heart-breaking, beautiful, hope-giving story.
Will you share yours too?
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Choosing Hope 